Proper care of aging parents nowadays, became challenge for many people. The basic causes behind this issue are the choice of nuclear family, downfall of values of ordination, growth of selfishness or lack of knowledge. It is better to understand psychologically, how to care parents?
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How did Jay’s mistake put his parents in trouble?
It was almost 3 hours that Jay was sitting outside the ICU of the hospital. His mother and father were both admitted.
Jay was quite restless. His pasts of life were moving in his mind like a movie.
After getting a job, the parent had married Jay to the girl of his choice. Both were studied in the same college. After marriage, Jay was living happily with his wife in a rented flat in the city.
Parents were spending the rest of their life in their old ancestral house in the village.
Mom used to do all the household work herself and dad was doing rest of the entire works.
After retiring from a government job, Dad stayed at ancestral house along with mom only. Grandparents were passed away around 10years back.
To settle the daily domestic works, mom had to work till noon. She used to take lunch after worship. Every evening both mom and dad were used to go to the nearby park and spent an hour in gossip and walk. After returning from park again mom had to head over to kitchen for cooking dinner. Then they used to take dinner and go to bed. These are their daily routine.
Dad’s pension of INR 11,000 is the only source of income. Entire regular, occasional and accidental needs had to be furnished with this amount.
This morning, a neighbor gave dad a copy of sale of the ancestral house in which dad is living with mom. That is sold by Jay to a builder with an agreement which states that purchaser can take possession after a year.
Grandpa has gifted that house to Jay on the occasion of 5th
birthday. According to the document Jay got the full right on that property after completing his 24 years of age.
After getting knowledge of sale of ancestral house, dad was shocked that resulted in heart attack and mom became senseless.
Neighbor had informed Jay about this situation and ran to the nearest hospital with Jay’s parents.
At this time, Jay is quite restless. Every moment spent with the parents were moving in Jay’s mind like a movie. He is feeling every past incident was happening right now.
Parents never allowed any shortage of things to me. I remember, when I got admission in college, I was stubborn for a motorcycle. Dad had tried to convince me, but I was rigid. The next day he had purchased a motorcycle for me. I came to know after a year that, what money dad has spent to purchase the bike was actually taken on loan for my mom’s kidney operation. That operation was taken place after 9 months from the schedule time due to me.
Grandma often used to tell me that whenever I became ill in my childhood, both my parents became very anxious. They spent sleepless day-night to care me.
They have provided me everything compromising with their own necessity.
I remember, once I went to a theater leaving the school periods and hiding from parents and teachers. I couldn’t return home in the usual time. Mom had scattered the whole neighborhood to find me and dad had searched every possible place where I could be. When I returned, I saw they all were crying for me.
Whenever I became sad by any reason, parents tried to do anything to bring smile on my face.
Whenever dad scolded me, he also became sad. Mom used to explain to me how dad’s scolding was for my betterment and to prevent me from pitfalls. After realizing the fact, I used to apologize before dad. Then his sadness converted in love to me.
Grandparents became so old. Dad always used to say, in the old ages people feel and treat like a baby. We should care them just like you.
To fulfill everybody’s requirements, they usually have no enough money. So, mom had started to do the part-time stitching work to increase family income.
They have never put any condition to nurture me. Never had it comes in their mind whether I would become their support in old age or not.
After getting the job, I became so busy in my own life that I never think that how parent’s household expenses were meeting on father’s pension.
They always used to ask about my wellness from neighborhoods going to the city. Due to my busy schedule I got time to meet with him once in 2 months for 1-2 hours only.
How Jay learned from his mistakes?
Now, I am bashing myself. To start my own business, without thinking anymore, I have sold the ancestral house which is the only shelter of my parents and even me.
My heart is getting seized. I am keep praying to God recovery of health of my parents. Now, I will not leave anything for their care.
At this moment, I have sufficient clues that guide me for their care.
- What dad had told about grandparents – In the old age, people feel and treat like a baby.
- Parents did not leave any stone unturned to nurture me, I must should do like.
These two points are sufficient for me to guide about “How to care parents?”.
Just the doctor exits the ICU. I promptly asked – how are my parents now?
“Your dad had had a severe heart attack but now is out of danger. It can take 2-3 hours to get the sensation. And mother had a deep shock. You can meet her after 2 hours, but remember you shouldn’t talk any such thing which would put pressure on their mind” – Doctor replied.
This was great news for me. I breathed a little relief.
Again, I sat back on the bench placed outside of ICU. I am feeling some relief but still I’m quite worried.
First of all I talked to builder and explained everything. I requested him to cancel the deal. He is a decent person. He agreed to cancel the deal. I told him to pay the amount what was spent to make the deal.
Nearly 2 hours passed with great difficulty.
Jay apologized for his mistake
ICU door opened and the nurse told that dad has sensed you may talk now.
I ran into the ICU. As soon as I approached to dad’s bed, my eyes started to tear. The throat started fluttering. I was not able to say anything.
I hardly became able to control myself.
I have cancelled the deal, dad!
I have committed a very serious mistake. Dad, please forgive me! – I told.
I assure you dad, such a mistake will not happen in the future. But it is my humble request; you both stay with me forever.
The tears also came in the eyes of the father. They nodded and agreed.
I embraced Dad.
Again, I told him – I am very very sorry dad. It will not be repeated. Please forgive me.
At the same time nurse came and told me – Your mother has also sensed.
I ran to mom.
As soon as I reached, I grabbed my mom’s feet and started weeping.
After controlling myself, I told her – I have cancelled the deal, mom!
I have committed a very serious mistake. Please forgive me!… … I told.
I assure you mom, it will not happen in the future. And you both have to stay with me forever.
She was also controlling her from weeping.
Off course my son – she told.
I came out from ICU.
When my parents will be released? – I asked to the doctor.
Tomorrow! we have to keep them in observation for 24 hours – Doctor told.
Now I am feeling a bit lighter.
I stayed at hospital and called wife to do all the arrangements to keep parents along with us. I told her to manage everything very carefully to live my parents happily with us.
11 ways to care parents
I made the following rules for our self to perfectly care my parents:
- I will keep my parents with us
- I will depute a caregiver for them.
- I decide to spare some time with my parents on daily basis. Whenever physical presence wouldn’t possible, I will make voice or video call, at least.
- I will try to know their every requirement (major and minor) so that can be fulfilled timely and perfectly.
- I will give them some money every month so they can able to purchase or enjoy whatever they want.
- For their engagement and enjoyments, I will enroll them in senior citizen club where they can spend some time with their similar aged people.
- I would like to engage them for some responsibilities, so they can feel that they are still useful.
- I will make plan to visit some outskirt / picnic spot with entire family for at least once a month and celebrate parents’ milestone.
- I will maintain their respect and do hard work so they feel proud.
- I will always honor their decisions and try to implement.
- They have gathered many odd and even experiences of life, I will insist them to guide us.
24 hours observation is over and my parents are getting released from hospital. My wife also came to hospital to take my parents to our flat.
How care parents make you reach
It is said that there is a paradise in the parents’ stages. I will try to learn from mistakes whatever I have done earlier and keep my parents happy.
Their blessings will prove to be boon for you. This is such a property that makes the person more wealthy.
If you have any question or want to say something, please feel free to leave your comments below. I would be happy to hear from you.