My son is not obeying us, our every word irritates him, he became ill-tempered. My daughter became angry, rude and distant. Regularly I am getting complain of my son from his school because of his angry attitude. These are the common sentences, we mostly listen from parents of teenagers.
It is normally be seen that most teens lose the temper frequently, use unpleasant words and break the things whatever they found nearby them.
Managing these situations for both the parents of teenagers is very challenging. Situation becomes worst to worsen when parents also reacts with the same manner. If the facts behind this situation be known to both, teens and their parents, techniques to manage the things become easier.
It is required to understand the whole things behind this issue. Teenagers’ anger temperament in this age is natural.
Parents and teens both should learn to handle the situation. These can be managed efficiently, if you are aware of some techniques. Before discussing about the effective anger management techniques for teenagers, let’s describe the entire things one by one.
Table of Contents
- Teens struggle for their identity
- Physical and psychological development and hormonal changes take place in teenagers
- Techniques to be followed by Teenagers:
- Techniques to be followed by Parents:
Teens struggle for their identity
In terms of age, teenager defined as a person who falls within the ages of thirteen to nineteen years old. In this age-span they have crossed the threshold of childhood but not became adult.
Neither they get love and affection as in their childhood nor did people gave him importance as adults used to get. They always are in search of their identity and try to establish him/her importance in their friend circle and society.
But losing the temper, breaking the households and irritating behavior shouldn’t be happen. Following are the signs normally noticed in teenagers:
- Become easily frustrated
- Throw temper tantrums
- Became ill-tempered
- Tends to break the rule
These are byproduct of anger and it should be managed by developing some effective skills.
Don’t let your temperament rules you, you should be master to rule your temperament.
Physical and psychological development and hormonal changes take place in teenagers
One of the main causes of their anger is physical and psychological development and hormonal changes in this age-span. During this age, parts of the two pivotal brain develop in different speeds. These two parts of the brain together help people to make decisions and lead life. Anger and ill temperament are quiet normal in this age due to the above reason.
Teens should know the fact that these have age dependent issues and they should be ready to make the changes in them. To manage the situation, responsibility goes to both, the teenagers and their parents.
Techniques to be followed by the parents will be discussed later on. First, we came to know the following techniques to be followed by the teenagers:
Techniques to be followed by Teenagers:
1. Recognize physiological warning signs of Anger:
First you should make a commitment to yourself, that you will no longer going to be victim of anger. Your anger should be in your control.
Watch, what physiological changes are happening when you feel yourself angry. It may be
- Redness of face or ear
- Clenching the fists
- Sudden Increase of heartbeat
- Grinding of teeth
- Tense muscle
Now you have noticed the warning sign of anger. Your next move should be to divert your mind, when you get the sign of anger.
Whenever you are able to find cause and symptoms of any problem, understand that half of your problem been resolved. For the balance half, you have to learn techniques to manage the issues. You may apply the following techniques to divert your mind that works greatly:
- Start taking deep breath with focusing on the movement of air going inside through your nostrils and coming out through your nostrils. Your attention should be on the movement of air you are inhaling and exhaling. Keep continue for 2-3 minutes.
- Start to visualize the digits in descending order like 100, 99, 98,……. and keep continue for 2-3 minutes.
- Start recitation of the mantra “OM”. While recitation sound should not be come out, only a slight movement of your throat should be happen. Lips should or shouldn’t remain active. Recitation of the mantra OM should be like OooooMmmmmmmmmm. 5 times recitation is sufficient but your focus should be on the movement of throat, air and coolness of your mind.
2. Create a break in discussion
After getting symptoms of anger, while you are in a discussion, you should take a break for 10-15 minutes or a day or two depending on seriousness of the matter of discussion.
During this break you may utilize previous technique, listen a good music, draw the sketches, paint your canvas, go for a walk or play with your musical instrument.
3. Avoid the situation
If you have felt that any particular situation makes you angry, starts avoiding that situation. This is the preventing measure that you can use when you are in just learning stage of techniques.
After learning the techniques you must remain involved in the situation and keep yourself calm by anger management techniques.
4. Develop skill to solving the issues
In this technique you have to resolve the issues who make you angry. Predict the consequences of all the possibilities in advance before or during facing the situation. You have to develop yourself to give a pleasant turn to any situation. Always try to resolve the issues putting your egos aside.
In worst condition follow the way that has least harmful consequences. Initially, it may not work up to your expectation but slowly you will find yourself more capable to handle the situation.
5. Sacrifice your ego
Ego is such a type of attitude that always creates obstruction in your success. A lot of problems and even anger develop only due to evolvement of your ego.
Whenever you started to sacrifice your ego, you will find yourself in such a position, that the circumstances that let you be angry earlier, now don’t affect you.
6. Note down the situation that makes you angry
This technique may seem useless, but it has a great effect. Practice to write every situation on daily basis that has developed anger in you and what you have done.
By writing, you have to remind and visualize the whole situation including your reactions. It will provide you the actual matter to analyse neutrally when you are cool. This technique also helps you to get possible remedy to handle the situation if again it comes to you.
Parents also have some responsibilities towards their teenager son or daughter. The following article provide you more insight in this topic:
I prefer your teens to read some good books or workbook to learn additional techniques and meditation for anger management. You can purchase here from amazon.
If your teenagers like games, then followings are beneficial for him to manage anger:
Techniques to be followed by Parents:
As a responsible parent you should also realise the things happening with your son or daughter. The cause behind rudeness, irritated and angry attitude of your teenage son or daughter is physical and psychological development and hormonal changes in this age-span.
Teens are victim of age borne changes. You should know the reality and manage the situation effectively.
Of course, you are very caring, but demand of the situation is, you have to handle the situation very wisely and patiently. The following techniques help you to manage the situation:
1. Teach them sense of communication and behavior
Teach your teens to communicate gracefully and their behavior shouldn’t hurt anyone, even if they are in anger. A rude behavior and foul language will drop their personality.
Let them realize that if anybody uses such type of communication and behavior for him, then how they feel hurtled.
2. Let them understand the cause behind their anger
If you able to know the real cause of any problem, it became easier to solve. So, teach your teen that there is no wrong with you to be angry because it is the consequences of development of the brain and hormonal changes.
Its OK, but they should learn the techniques to manage their anger and apply accordingly.
3. Let them know the importance of techniques
If the consequences of anger and benefits to manage it by the appropriate technique can be communicated properly, certainly they will take interest to learn and follow the techniques.
4. Try to be a role model for your teens
You should also present yourself disciplined and well communicative before your son or daughter. By nature, children learn many habits from their parents.
Parents are potter of their children. Give enough time to them and listen patiently what they want to say. It will helps you to understand his/her problem, and on the other hand they will realize that you always care him.
You should encourage your teens to tell their problems and techniques, how they have used to manage. Give enough time to them. Do not forget to appreciate them for their efforts towards managing the anger. This works a lot.
Carelessness will increase the problem. To manage anger of your teens effectively, you and him both should learn the techniques and apply accordingly. It is easy and can be managed effectively, only you both have to learn and utilize with patience.