Effective Anger Management Techniques for Teenagers

My son is not obeying us, our every word irritates him, he became ill-tempered. My daughter became angry, rude and distant. Regularly I am getting complain of my son from his school because of his angry attitude. These are the common sentences, we mostly listen from parents of teenagers.

It is normally be seen that most teens lose the temper frequently, use unpleasant words and break the things whatever they found nearby them.

Managing these situations for both the parents of teenagers is very challenging. Situation becomes worst to worsen when parents also reacts with the same manner. If the facts behind this situation be known to both, teens and their parents, techniques to manage the things become easier.

It is required to understand the whole things behind this issue. Teenagers’ anger temperament in this age is natural.

Parents and teens both should learn to handle the situation. These can be managed efficiently, if you are aware of some techniques. Before discussing about the effective anger management techniques for teenagers, let’s describe the entire things one by one.

Teens struggle for their identity

In terms of age, teenager defined as a person who falls within the ages of thirteen to nineteen years old. In this age-span they have crossed the threshold of childhood but not became adult.

Who Am I Concept

Neither they get love and affection as in their childhood nor did people gave him importance as adults used to get. They always are in search of their identity and try to establish him/her importance in their friend circle and society.

But losing the temper, breaking the households and irritating behavior shouldn’t be happen. Following are the signs normally noticed in teenagers:

  • Become easily frustrated
  • Throw temper tantrums
  • Became ill-tempered
  • Tends to break the rule

These are byproduct of anger and it should be managed by developing some effective skills.

Don’t let your temperament rules you, you should be master to rule your temperament.

Physical and psychological development and hormonal changes take place in teenagers

One of the main causes of their anger is physical and psychological development and hormonal changes in this age-span. During this age, parts of the two pivotal brain develop in different speeds. These two parts of the brain together help people to make decisions and lead life. Anger and ill temperament are quiet normal in this age due to the above reason.

Teens should know the fact that these have age dependent issues and they should be ready to make the changes in them. To manage the situation, responsibility goes to both, the teenagers and their parents.

Techniques to be followed by the parents will be discussed later on. First, we came to know the following techniques to be followed by the teenagers:

Techniques to be followed by Teenagers:

1. Recognize physiological warning signs of Anger:

First you should make a commitment to yourself, that you will no longer going to be victim of anger. Your anger should be in your control.

Watch, what physiological changes are happening when you feel yourself angry. It may be

  • Redness of face or ear
  • Clenching the fists
  • Sudden Increase of heartbeat
  • Grinding of teeth
  • Tense muscle

Now you have noticed the warning sign of anger. Your next move should be to divert your mind, when you get the sign of anger.

Whenever you are able to find cause and symptoms of any problem, understand that half of your problem been resolved. For the balance half, you have to learn techniques to manage the issues.  You may apply the following techniques to divert your mind that works greatly:

  • Start taking deep breath with focusing on the movement of air going inside through your nostrils and coming out through your nostrils. Your attention should be on the movement of air you are inhaling and exhaling. Keep continue for 2-3 minutes.
  • Start to visualize the digits in descending order like 100, 99, 98,……. and keep continue for 2-3 minutes.
  • Start recitation of the mantra “OM”. While recitation sound should not be come out, only a slight movement of your throat should be happen. Lips should or shouldn’t remain active. Recitation of the mantra OM should be like OooooMmmmmmmmmm. 5 times recitation is sufficient but your focus should be on the movement of throat, air and coolness of your mind.

2. Create a break in discussion

After getting symptoms of anger, while you are in a discussion, you should take a break for 10-15 minutes or a day or two depending on seriousness of the matter of discussion.

During this break you may utilize previous technique, listen a good music, draw the sketches, paint your canvas, go for a walk or play with your musical instrument.

3. Avoid the situation

If you have felt that any particular situation makes you angry, starts avoiding that situation. This is the preventing measure that you can use when you are in just learning stage of techniques.

After learning the techniques you must remain involved in the situation and keep yourself calm by anger management techniques.

4. Develop skill to solving the issues

In this technique you have to resolve the issues who make you angry. Predict the consequences of all the possibilities in advance before or during facing the situation. You have to develop yourself to give a pleasant turn to any situation. Always try to resolve the issues putting your egos aside.

In worst condition follow the way that has least harmful consequences. Initially, it may not work up to your expectation but slowly you will find yourself more capable to handle the situation.

5. Sacrifice your ego

Ego is such a type of attitude that always creates obstruction in your success. A lot of problems and even anger develop only due to evolvement of your ego.

Whenever you started to sacrifice your ego, you will find yourself in such a position, that the circumstances that let you be angry earlier, now don’t affect you.

6. Note down the situation that makes you angry

This technique may seem useless, but it has a great effect. Practice to write every situation on daily basis that has developed anger in you and what you have done.

By writing, you have to remind and visualize the whole situation including your reactions. It will provide you the actual matter to analyse neutrally when you are cool. This technique also helps you to get possible remedy to handle the situation if again it comes to you.

Parents also have some responsibilities towards their teenager son or daughter. The following article provide you more insight in this topic:

Anger Management Techniques for Teenagers – Must to Know

I prefer your teens to read some good books or workbook to learn additional techniques and meditation for anger management. You can purchase here from amazon.

If your teenagers like games, then followings are beneficial for him to manage anger:

Techniques to be followed by Parents:

As a responsible parent you should also realise the things happening with your son or daughter. The cause behind rudeness, irritated and angry attitude of your teenage son or daughter is physical and psychological development and hormonal changes in this age-span.

Teens are victim of age borne changes. You should know the reality and manage the situation effectively.

Of course, you are very caring, but demand of the situation is, you have to handle the situation very wisely and patiently. The following techniques help you to manage the situation:

1. Teach them sense of communication and behavior

Teach your teens to communicate gracefully and their behavior shouldn’t hurt anyone, even if they are in anger. A rude behavior and foul language will drop their personality.

Let them realize that if anybody uses such type of communication and behavior for him, then how they feel hurtled.

2. Let them understand the cause behind their anger

If you able to know the real cause of any problem, it became easier to solve. So, teach your teen that there is no wrong with you to be angry because it is the consequences of development of the brain and hormonal changes.

Its OK, but they should learn the techniques to manage their anger and apply accordingly.

3. Let them know the importance of techniques

If the consequences of anger and benefits to manage it by the appropriate technique can be communicated properly, certainly they will take interest to learn and follow the techniques.

4. Try to be a role model for your teens

You should also present yourself disciplined and well communicative before your son or daughter. By nature, children learn many habits from their parents.

Parents are potter of their children. Give enough time to them and listen patiently what they want to say. It will helps you to understand his/her problem, and on the other hand they will realize that you always care him.

You should encourage your teens to tell their problems and techniques, how they have used to manage. Give enough time to them. Do not forget to appreciate them for their efforts towards managing the anger. This works a lot.

Carelessness will increase the problem. To manage anger of your teens effectively, you and him both should learn the techniques and apply accordingly. It is easy and can be managed effectively, only you both have to learn and utilize with patience.

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24 Comments

  1. This article is very much proficient for the teenagers more precisely for the guardian of those teenagers who are very shortly tempered with their brain. How to reduce a teenagers anger the website give much opportunity. The guardian now a days getting frustrated over the behaviour of their stubborn children. This article teaches a lots of technique that how a teenager can be effectively managed. There was a great step that is number 4, “Sacrifice your ego”. This is the top most important step I think.

  2. Hey Amod,

    As a Boy Scout Leader, i deal with teenagers, especially the ones aged 15-18. The toughest ages. I always try not to impose my beliefs and decisions, but explain them, or even better, let them discuss it and find their own reasons, as well as ways to deal with it. I’m trying to let them take some time off from the problem and see things more clearly. And, avoi making decisions when angry.

    Thanks for a great post

    Marios

  3. This is really a good writeup, even though I’m no more a teenager but I really learnt some things from the post. You shed some lights on why it happens often in teenagers and with this I’m able to understand why I need to be more gentle with angry teenagers. I’m able to get few techniques on how to control these too as a parent because having a teenager in a parent’s life can be scary to think of in the first place because of their anger issues. Thanks for putting this up. 

  4. Managing anger is a technical issue. With step in this article anger management is seen to be caused by using issues which bothers and irritate us. Teenagers when not properly taken care of are easily disturbing in their actions and inactions. To manage anger a lot of sacrifices are to be made. Like doing away with ego and avoiding annoying situation or developing skills that could help in anger management. Amod has done a fantastic job in bringing all points to consider in anger management into one educative and insightful master piece. Kudos .

    • Thanks Olalekan Taliat!

      You are right. We should deal with our teens very patiently and carefully. Actually, they are victim of the age borne issues.
      Thanks for your comments.

      All the best,

      Amod

  5. Thanks for writing out this lovely article and I must say its a must for every parents must read and digest.this article explains ways to overcome anger when dealing with children, avoid what makes you anger and develop the skills to solving the problem. Children can be so annoying sometimes, teach children sense of communication and behavior,always show them caring. I gained Alot of experience from this post. Best regards

  6. Hi Amod Ranjan! This is an important topic for families. It’s good you have addressed the issue in both directions: What the teenagers should do and what the parents should do.

    I like the fact that recognizing physiological warning signs of anger is 50% of the victory. Our teenagers must be constantly on “watch out” mode. And we must help them, not providing situations where we carelessly anger them.

    I appreciate you have recommended these 2 games. It’s fun to play with all the family. Can members of the family that are still children join the table and play with their teenage brothers and sisters? Or are these games only for teenagers and their parents?  

  7. Effective Anger Management Techniques for Teenagers is great article and any parent can easily relate with you on these points. At a certain point in your life as a parent you have to face it and solve it, thankfully you have itemized the steps to be taken to “fix” it. Teenager, a person aged between 13 and 19 years. This age is the most important part of any child’s life as they are not considered adult nor kid, so they tend to be neglected, in fact many parent tends to believe that their teenage boy or girl is old enough to know the right from wrong. They don’t care much about what is happening in their life.  Any one reading this will understand how these children feel and what they need to be what we want of them. You can’t be more exhaustive!  i love your expository skill.

  8. About 8 years ago now, My ex and I were in the middle of a divorce. My oldest son was just turning 14 at the time. He had some periods of unruliness and angry during this time. To my own mistake, I brushed off this behavior as his way of dealing with the divorce and now becoming the man of the house for his 2 younger brothers.

    Little did we know it was also the complying of his physical changes, school, and the stress of the divorce. He never did throw objects or break anything. I may have a few time out of frustration. He did learn how to control his anger over time by using a few to the tactics found here. He would like to spend time alone in his room playing video games. It was his escape from reality. 

    My 3 boys (20, 17, and 11) all have different personalities and handle the situation in a different manner. The middle son appears to be the one in the most control. He rarely gets angry at anyone outside his brothers. The youngest has not yet been diagnosed with Asperger’s since my ex decided to stop him from getting assessed. He has occasional outbursts of anger toward anyone, especially his brothers. He has also had a few “mishaps” in school according to his mother. 

    Getting to my question. Do you think the anger being shown by the youngest is due to his Asperger’s, seeing his older brother act out, or just the changes he is going through?   

  9. Anger can be a very difficult emotion to deal with.It’s even more difficult to deal with when one feels resentment or cheated. More often than not, teens are very confused as they’re trying to discover who they really are. 

    This points you have listed would be very useful to helping teens deal with anger. I think more things should learn to sacrifice their ego, as this makes them the bigger and better person 

  10. You did a good job on effective anger management techniques for teenagers. If a person would be aggressive or wicked  when he or she fully become an adult,  it would be a function of how he manage his anger when he was a teenager. Believe me every of our attitude that we exhibit as an adult were carried right from our teenage age. I agree to all the techniques suggested to teenagers to manage their anger but for them to be successful in it, they need parents to put them through. Bad parenting will not help a child. Some parents don’t even see their children during working days until weekend. How will that help a teenager having issues to deal with and needed the dad or mum to share it with them and none is available? It’s even worse for teens that have no parent. Lemme stop there but I just hope this article reach all teenagers having anger issues and parents too. But this question just came to my mind, is temperament hereditary? 

  11. Hi Amod,

    Thank you very much for sharing such an informative article with all the necessary information about ”Effective Anger Management Techniques for Teenagers”

    Really  this is an amazing article.I am a teen ager and i have also all those problems that you have mentioned in this article like getting frustrated easily,ill tempered etc.I know that this attitude is harmful to me and my family.I am trying to get out of this attitude but i wasn’t able to find a proper guideline.After reading your article i have learn how to deal with this problem. I will follow all the techniques how to controll my anger that you have highlighted so nicely in this article and i believe that i can overcome from my anger problem .This article is very helpful for teenagers and parents. I will share this article with my relatives and parents so that they can also learn which techniques should be followed by them.

  12. Hey, Amod!

    Something really interesting I read recently in regards to this, and I just wanted to share. I believe it’s relevant to the topic here.

    I can’t remember, which book it was at the moment. Probably it will come back later to me. But what the insights in the book showed was that the whole bursting out thing isn’t really all that natural. And in fact, can be avoided. There was a woman, a researcher, who lived with a tribe in Samoa if I’m not mistaken, away from the modern day civilization.

    There she found that teenage women were far too relaxed about sexual matters, including masturbation and homosexuality. The teenage women there were taught about these matters as children and it was never something that was treated as something shameful. On top of that, most of them had been even present while adults are having sex before they entered their teens.

    And so these teenage women never experienced the kind of burst-outs, anger managing issues or so to say “raging hormones” during their teens as compared to the ones we typically associate with teenagers.

    They had none of that.

    Thus, and this is what the researcher also concluded, the stress that people experience in their teens is probably purely out of social shaming we have for sex and a kind of a tabu – the modern conditioning and many societies repressed attitude towards sex.

    It’s essentially the unsureness about their sexuality that causes the “raging hormones” and all the anger issues. Thus, what can be drawn from this is that openness and transparency about sex and everything related to with children even before they hit their teens is what might be an amazing solution.

    Oh, I remembered, the book is called “Great Thinkers”. The researcher was Margaret Mead.

    Cheers, have a Great One!

    Matiss

    • Hi Matiss!

      Thanks for your comments. What the researcher has concluded is correct up to some extent but that is just one face of the coin. The requirements, necessity and challenges of civilized society is quite different form the tribes. After having sex, we feel cheered and stressless, but this may not be the solution of the issues. Like tribes if teens of social community indulge completely in to this solution, you may assume what will be the long lasting side effects. Therefore, it is necessary to make the teens be educated about sex along with its requirements, benefits and side effects so that they can take the right decision about it.

      The effect of hormonal changes takes place in this age and results in so many issues but that should be treated in a right way.

      Thanks again for this interesting discussion Matiss!

      Cheers!

      Amod

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